Matha · Ó · Píobar

I relaized I haven't updated this in well over a year...so maybe I can start doing it again...prolly not...but I'll give it a shot.

I started a new job today. I now teach kids on the verge of dropping out of school or just not completing. This outta be interesting. The boss tld me I would have a couple 6th graders who happen to be 15 and 16 years old...In case you didn't know, 6th graders are usually 11 or 12. That's crazy. Anyways, If it doesn't kill me, it'll prolly be the most rewarding job ever.

Ashley got married on saturday...it was nice...sooooo happy for her.

I've been dating the best guy ever for like 5 months now...I know...me dating someone for over 2 weeks is incredible...but I LOVE him so much...he's so good for me. Everytime i hug him I just feel completely comfortable and safe. He makes me sooooooo happy. I hope e make it through this separation while I have to stay in Live Oak all the time for work and he in Gainesville for school. He's perfect. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. He understands me so well and we get along better than i do with my best friends. He is my best friend...I can't get enough of him. Muah Kyle.

Anyways...hopefully I'll keep this up...since my memory's failing...this could help me remember what's going on.

I feel like i'm changing. Here's why:

1)I think God or something keeps giving me little signals for things. Either I'm schizo, or this voice that keeps telling me to do/not to do things will qualify me as a saint. Which leads me to belive that maybe i should go to church more often or be put on anti-psychotic meds. It's starting to become more frequent.

2)My parents know I'm a pothead and they're not to fond of it. After they found it, and i didn't get beaten to a bloody pulp,I don't really feel like smoking anymore. Like, I don't feel like getting high. I got nothing.

3)After 4 months of celibacy, I'm still going strong. This one's got me and people that know me pretty rattled. I used to have sex at least 3-4 times a week. Yet, I haven't had any for a third of a year. Weird part is...I don't even think about it. I mean, i still do the regular things that guys do like look at porn and stuff...i even fantasize and talk to guys, but i don't follow through. If i were dating someone, i'd prolly turn back into a nympho. I guess the whole fuck buddy thing just isn't going for me anymore. Pretty sad.

4)I'm tired a lot. I never really feel like doing much of anything. Sometimes i end up falling asleep when i'm supposed to be doing something(sorry Brandi for Christmas night).

5)I don't drink anymore, unless there's a reason or it's the weekend. No more celebrating Mon/Tues/Wednes/Thurs/Fri/Sat/Sun-day. I just drink when i go out. I've had a handle of an excellent gin in my room since my birthday, still sealed. Now i have a handle of Beam, prolly gonna still stay sealed as well. Just don't feel like it anymore.

6)I play xbox way too much.

7)I work with high schoolers and the school board makes them call me Mr. Pepper. How fucking depressing is that? I'm like 4 years older than some of them, yet i feel like an old ass man. Even though every girl in the Suwannee County school system thinks i'm th hottest thing to walk the planet and i got seriously checked out by a male(def gay) student. However, I feel like i'm the hot teacher and the kids still feel like they can't be open around me. Even though i slip up and cuss every now and then or tell them a college story. I don't wanna grow up. And i especially don't enjoy getting checked out by somebody, who if i fucked him, would land me in prison...not the local kind, but the state kind with nasty horny guys.

8)Sometimes i see stupid people and i want to kill them. Beat the hell out of them till they bleed out of the eyes, cut off their limbs, and then piss in their cuts. My stupid tolerance has gone way down after already being pretty damn low.

9)I'm actually doing good in school. Brought my GPA up from practically nothing to almost a 3.0. WTF? A year ago I got kicked out of UF because i didn't go to class. Now i say things like "I can't miss class, i was late last week" and "I gotta go to class because she's handing out an extra credit project." When the hell did i start saying things like that?

10) I miss my friends from high school. All of them. I was looking through all of my old shit today and came across all kinds of great memories i'd forgotten about. I feel like we've all just up hauled ass without looking back or taking any luggage. I see people now in town, shake their hand, and have intelligent conversations as opposed to seeing someone, running down the street, jumping on their backs and having a conversation where we use fuck every 3 words. What happened? I also miss my Brandi Jean. Haven't seen her in months, and i'd really like to.

11) I weigh 205 pounds. I have virtually no muscle. This seems to happen once a year. I get fat. Then, out of the blue, i lose all appetite. I eat like a 12 year old ethiopian girl and drop 20 pounds. Christmas evening, I lost my appetite. I ate a huge lunch. Then it came time for supper and i could hardly eat anything. It's been like that ever since. I can only eat half the amount of food i used to ba able to eat. Guess that's a good thing, I just don't understand why my weight's so cyclical. Another weird thing i noticed is that i'm a lot better looking in the face when it's a lil pudgy. But all my weight goes to the thighs(some of you know i have monster thighs) and the belly which, since i rarely drink anymore, has gotten considerably larger. I'm confused.

12) Deja Vous freaks me out. I experience it like every week now. I catch myself in a conversation, at a certain spot, with certain people, and i can swear to the deity that i'd done the exact same thing before. All the fucking time. Do you know how fucking annoying that shit is?


I dunno guys, I'm not really like deeply depressed or anything. I'm just not a big fan of change especially when things seem to be changing way to fast. I feel like I'm an adult now or something which means that I'm gonna lose my youth, and i vowed never to do that. It just seems inevitable. I got nothing.

The drunken debauchery was all over the Pepper estate on Saturday night. It all started out without injury, the Gainesville/Orlando crowd arrived shortly followed by the Live Oak crowd...which is kinda fucked up since the Oakers had considerably less driving time...anyways...there were people in the barn.

After everybody started drinking, they also started eying the 4 wheeler. Before long, Phil had ran into the fence, then he figured out how to drive an ATV. Then Andy gets on it with Erin, instead of braking or turning, he speeds up and drives straight into the fence, nearly destroying it. Then, Kyle and Phil go for a ride...all was well until Kyle came barreling into the fish fryer and propane tank and then into the barn....plowing over every chair in his wake and running over Mary. There was then a couple hour period with no 4 wheeler. Then Joe and Mary go for a ride in the field. Jay and I look out...the lights aren't moving. We drive out there. They had hit a fence (barbed wire) and had ejected themselves onto the other side of it....Joe came out unscathed...however...Mary got pretty fucked up. Then the party made its way to the liquor cabinet...where many many shots were poured...chilly willys were snorted...and then everybody kinda passed out. Kyle pissed on the couch....not a big surprise there.

The next morning...we awoke to blood all over the place...the living room reaked of piss and people...and there was a mess from the barn to the front porch.

Partay!

So yesterday I had the esteemed priviledge of listening to Clyde (for all of you that didn't go to SHS...I'm talking about the old principal) speak from 8 am to 4:30 pm about stuff i already knew. I hate that shit. I went to high school...so i think i know how to operate in a fire drill. Then i got the honor of going to class for 2 and a half hours listening to Dr. Edsall babble about what could be described as 'common sense'. This is pretty much my life right now...and probably for a long time. I say i'm tired of school and can't wait to be out...but on the flipside...i'm gonna be in school for the rest of my fucking life.

On a lil related rant...psychology sucks. I don't understand anything that goes on...yet i have one of the best averages in my classes. Now...either this means that i'm actually learning shit...or everybody at St. Leo University is stupid...I'm gonna go with the latter for the most part...but i guess i maybe learning a few things too. However...this major change is definitely best described as PUNISHMENT for my unsuccessful tenure at the glorious University of Florida.

It's been pointed out to me in the past few weeks that i may in fact be 'growing up'. To clarify this point...i'm never gonna grow up all the way. I'm gonna be the 60 year old man at UF games screaming because i'm drunk/high. Instead of growing up...we might just call it "temporary sobering". I haven't smoked in 2 months and my drinking's been confined to 1-2 days out of the weekend instead of every night. This is also due, in part, to me having absolutely no money to spend. This shit sucks. I'm sick and god damn tired of having nothying and being bored in Live Oak...which brings me my next point.

Live Oak is the singlemost boring place in the Great State of Florida. I hate this dumpster. Yet, again on the flipside, I'm considering sticking it out for another year or two so i can save some money, since I was informally hinted at a possible job by Clyde. I duno if i can do i though. I may lose my mind if i live with my fucking parents for another year. Also, I'm not sure i'll even save any money...because i'll probably spend ALL of my weekends in other places getting hammered...and then will probably get fired for being a shitty school employee in the bible beater section of this wonderful state. I'm just gonna have to survey my options and figure out what will be best for my interests. I HATE Live Oak, but I love this school board. I'm definitely in a bind over this issue.

I'm going insane. If I don't toke up soon, I may finally lose what's left of my fragile little mind.

So...Picture it...

Gainesville.It's a rainy,early Sunday evening in June. A young student boy is leaving Mass at his local parish. The roads are wet. The boy's driving a piece of horse shit. Suddenly...a traffic circle. The boy hits his brakes. The brakes lock. The car goes straight and slams into and then over the curb, destroying a tire and bending up a rim. The boy gets out in his Sunday attire and changes his tire. A stranger stops to lend a hand. Then the town loon Scott and the village retard Phil came and helped finish the job and follow him to get air in his spare.

That was a story about a boy driving home from church. That church was Queen of Peace and that student boy was me.

Been a while, but here it goes...

I'm at Saint Leo now...passed a course already...taking more at the moment. Life's just peachy. Couldn't ask for beter friends or a more annoying family. Love life's non-existent, as ususal. Thinking about getting another tatoo...can't really decide what exactly, but I'll just be spontaneous. Anyways, yeah, Marijuana's pretty good this time of year. All the good shit's budding...ripe for the pickin'.

I was thinking the other day...about the world, and it's contents.I came to a few conclusions:
1-Gay men are fickle and way too fucking needy. No need to elaborate.
2-A good piece of ass is hard to come by, and equally as hard to keep.
3-Credit Cards are nothing but trouble.
4-Alcohol and Debit cards are lethal.
5-Alchol and Pot are key ingredients to getting obliterated.
6-Women need to get over the whole period and pregnancy deal. Nobody really cares.
7-Lesbians are shaped funny.
8-Bums on the city bus can be the funniest people to talk with. Especially about crack cocaine and Colt 45.
9-Stereotyping Jews isn't wrong. The stereotypes are all true.
10-If you let the guy at Publix take your buggy out to the car for you, you get out of half the work.
11-Handicap people have it made.
12-Krispy Kreme's are flammable in temperatures of 400+ degrees.
13-Irish Catholics have more fun.
14-Pop culture's not important, it's actually the anti-culture.
15-Britney, Christina, Hillary, and Jessica should be sent to Auschwitz. Die Duff.
16-God is real. Study brain functions. God is real.
17-College sucks, drinking is fun.
18-SPF 8's just not enough.
19-Everybody from outside of the State of Florida needs to take a flatlander driver ed course before coming here.
20-Cubans are people too.
21-Morons come in many forms.
22-Never drink things named after abortions, periods, or miscarriages. However, things with names like piss are tasty.
23-German Weizen is damn good with a slice of orange.
24-I actually do have the ability to tan.
25-If you don't never go to class, you ain't never gonna pass.

BOURBON & ORLEANS!!! So.... here goes the log...

Thursday:I worked all day from 9-5 then got off, grabbed all my shit i had packed, went to Mary's to pick up her,Jason, and Melody. Then we went to Kyle's to smoke a bowl before we left for Pensacola. After the bowl, we commenced upon our trip. The rest of the car was hammered. I had 2 beers. But it wasn't bad. Hurricane Ivan did a lot of bad shit to Pcola if you didn't know...including knocking down the sign for the exit we were supposed to get off on to go to Milli's for the night. It's 11:00...i'm stoned...really stoned.So, we missed our exit and were looking for it until i said "We're gonna have to turn around." Mary asked "Why? Maybe there's another Pensacola exit up here." I replied "We're in Alabama Mary...Pensacola is in Florida...we have to turn around."So we turned around.....30 miles away from Pensacola...yes...an hour out of our way. We did however smoke a bowl in 2 states in one night and slept in Florida. Anyways...got to Milli's she gave Mary a quarter for her birthday (belated). Then we got more stoned and went to Steak and Shake at 2 am where we were served by a black drag queen. Then we went back and went to bed. Mary and i slept in the spare room...me on the couch and mary on the air bed. The cats' litter box was in there along with their food an water. We decided we'd suck it up and deal...but then one laid a monster shit. So we had Milli's remove the cats' belongings from the room. Then we went to sleep.

Friday: Woke up early at 9 am. Took showers. Had my coffee. Had my Wake-N-Bake bowl...then went to Waffle House and ate. Then i called my mom for the last time before monday. then we headed out of the Great State of FLORIDA...into Alabama. Not much happned in Alabama. Drank some beer...smoked some bowls...Smoked a bowl in he tunnel in Mobile. Got stuck in the tunnel in Mobile. That's about all for Alabama. Then we entered into the State of Mississippi. I had to cancel Jay's request to stop in Biloxi. So yeah...nothing special about the Mississippi voyage. Then we came into Le Etat d'Louisianne. Oh Louisiana. How i Love thee. Anyways....we ended up finding a room in our same hotel as 2004. So we got there...waited a while...drank....smoked...then went down to the French Quarter. Got drunk...very drunk...before we knew it it was like 5 am so mary and i decided to wait till 5:30 when the ferry started running again so we could catch our shuttle bus across the river.we went to harrah's for a while and lost 6 bucks. we passed out outside the ferry station. then woke up...rode across the river...and figured out around 8 that our shuttle bus wasnt coming. So i fell asleep. then we caught the holiday inn bus at 8:30 and walked a mile to our hotel.We went to sleep in the car till 10:30. Then we went to the room and tried to fall asleep. It didn't happen.

Saturday: 1 broken hour of sleep. But charged and ready to go. Sso we went down to the quarter...i got hit in the crotch while fighting some nig for some beads. then me kyle and mcdonnell went to get a HAND GRENADE during the parade, so we went all around. Took a break...and got back to the parade. Then Me and mary went to go get one. We got one and then were walking off when i decided i wanted some more beads. So i turned around saw a girl with good beads...waved...she motioned to see something...so i teased...then dropped my pants...she dropped every bead in her hand. So i earned beads. Then we went bck to the parade. got some more beads...and went back to Bourbon St... we decided we were all tired...and went back to go to get some thing...then went back for a while and decided to go to bed.

Sunday:Woke up and went down to the quarter. went to some parades...drank some beer...then went to parades and got more beads. Then we went back to the room so kyle and i could shower...not together...we were just gross from the night before. Anyways...we ate some and went back to the quarter. then drank and drank and drank...lost my belt because it broke and i got pissed and threw it on the ground. Flashed another girl for beads and when she threw down the whole wad...they were tangled. i was too fucked up to untabled things...and i don't like carrying things...so i ditched all of them. So then we caught up with the gang. and went back to sleep.

Monday:Drove back very hung over.

Now, i think this is accurate. It's all i remember. However...i have pictures with cops, firemen, a little dog with a magician's outfit on, random black people, and even Jesus. However, I had to be reminded of these things by pictures...and really don't remember most of them still. Yes folks...Mardi Gras 2005=Success!

People found at Mardi Gras in New Orleans:
2004: Waldo (where's waldo?)
2005: Jesus